bigsdlc722's Xanga

Brooke Fraser and William Fitzsimmons

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 02:41:11 GMT

Tin Angel, Philadelphia June 24, 2008

JCF picnic at Washington Square Park

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:52:47 GMT

Ephesians Chapter 1 To the Praise of His glory

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:19:52 GMT

As I prepare for Summer Medical Institute 2008, I'm reflecting on the book of Ephesians. It's been part of my quiet time in the mornings before work...

1. Chosen "in Him" (v. 4)
What is this "in him" business? What does that even mean? At the end of verse 4, it begins a sentence, "in love." Now that I understand. To do something "in love" is to do it with the purpose of "loving" or "lovingly" doing something. To do it "out of love" and not from a motivation of something else. Often love is thought to be selfish and for the good of the receiver disregarding the doer (but not necessarily to the his detriment). Love is commonly quoted to be defined by 1 Corinthians 13, though it would take an intentional study to make that encompass a meaningful application of love and its attributes.

In any case, by analogy, to be chosen by God "in him" (by the way, the "him" seems to refer to the Christ-head of God not the Father based on the previous sentence) seems to suggest that we are chosen by the characteristics that make God, God. Out of who God is, we are not just selected, but being given high honor by the most mysteriously perfect and powerful and incredible being to exist. He, in his incomprehensible being/existence, by his authority and decision, chooses people.

For what purpose does he choose us? "...to be holy and blameless in his sight." This is significant for at least two reasons. It is a definitive as well as high calling from God for us who know him to be set apart and without the blemish of sin, but it is carefully and providentially qualified by the last prepositional phrase, "in his sight." We are not and will never be without sin. We were tainted from the beginning. Our pasts are all contaminated by sin. We were enemies of God. We were despicable and the God of all that we know and all we cannot know or comprehend who has more power than we could ever imagine and more love than we could ever take hold of would not accept us without the atonement of Jesus Christ and his taking the punishment of death for what we defiantly did before He who willingly gave everything up and took the worst onto himself for us. The result? "In his sight" and according to God, we can be holy and blameless. Not by our efforts, but because we have been paid for. We have been purchased at a cost greater than any debt you think you can accrue. That is why Paul can remind us to "praise his GLORIOUS grace."

2. The mystery...
One of my favorite lines is from a Matt Redman song which reads "for it's the mystery of the universe, you're the God of holiness and yet you welcome souls like me..." It is a mystery to me why God would want to save people like me who knowingly disregard his gifts and commands. Why would an omnipotent God want to have eternal intimacy with a person who has the gall to slap God, is making a gesture of peace, in the face?

Part of the answer I think is found in verse 9. The mystery of his will, Paul says, is revealed because God takes pleasure in showing us his plan. He desires to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under Christ (v. 10). God desires the unity of his people. He created people for fellowship with each other and with Him. His will is to bring people all over the world together, unified under God the Son, to exist to praise and glorify who he is. For a person, this is ridiculous and arrogant and distainable, but for God, this is worthy, honorable, privilege, joyous, bliss.

How do you know if you're chosen? Paul includes that as well. You were included under the salvation of Christ and to be part of this plan the moment "you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation." It is when you believe that you are given God the Spirit. That was the promise. You have God in you. You don't become God. You don't control God. You do not limit God. The same power that surpasses understanding and surpasses and commands all other powers is given to you and is protecting you and will guide you, will strengthen you, is behind you 100% as you do God's will. (vv. 19-21). The self-reflection question then becomes, why do I concern myself with so many other worries and frustrations, when I have this power to save me from every day things that might hinder me from serving God? And if I truly understand even a glimpse of the magnitude of who God is, why am I not completely satisfied in him? what he says of me and my purpose? and what he values and desires? Why am I not dying to hang on his every word, mimicking his every thought as he unfolds the image of his character? I've been given the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so I might know him better. As that progresses, shouldn't my focus and desires be fully devoted to God's economy?

3. Hope...
That's a topic for another day and a lot more thinking...

i got a package in the mail!

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:16:31 GMT

playing with the new camera

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:23:31 GMT

Lunch: Spinach and chorizo stuffed pork chops with rosemary and garlic crust. C made the wonderful complement of peas.

Christine at work

Jessica studying pharm

Me starting my study of Ephesians...will try and post insights and reflections when I get a chance...

the return

Thu, 22 May 2008 10:58:25 GMT

Hi guys,

I'm not sure if Xanga has become obsolete or not among my peers, but just because I haven't had time to devote to this wonderful expanse of intro- and extrospection, I won't presume that the enticements are dead.

I'm returning to SMI in a month. If you want more info about it, track back starting from this post two years ago and peruse the July posts of 2006 (Track through with the Previous5 at the bottom right corner of the page). It's going to be really exciting.

email me if you would like a support letter to encourage me through prayer or financial support. daniel[dot]chen[at]jefferson[dot]edu. Thanks! In the meantime, here's what I was reading in the commentary as I'm studying 1 Timothy in my quiet time this morning. No personal commentary from me on it, just for you to ponder as well.

"This is indeed mysterious and why he has not brought to pass, in exercise of his omnipotent power and grace, what is his ardent pleasure lies hid in the sovereign counsel of his will. We should not entertain, however, any prejudice against the notion that God desires or has pleasure in the accomplishment of what he DOES NOT decretively will..." - Ned Stonehouse, John Murray

And a couple pics cause I know you're expecting it :)

Hiking on Mount Tammany, NJ

Community in the pouring rain

in need...

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 11:48:32 GMT

...of prayer...

Lots of wonderful times going on these last days. C's birthday was Thursday and there were a few complexities that led to good surprising finale for her. It was a good time and I'm so happy to see her happy. Surprises are so hard to do these days and they have to be so intricate and planned to the detail, with cues, and diversions. whew. I'm glad it all turned out okay with all the changes in plans and for all her friends that helped and made things so fun.

Last week we had a great second Dinner&Praise Night. It's been such a blessing to gather with brothers and sisters from JCF to sing our hearts out in worship of God and gather around some good food. It's a lot of work though. It probably takes up more than 10 hours to plan, cook, and then the event. It's so worth it though, although the aftermath is such a exhausted state interlaced with a joy and spiritual contentment. I recorded the session as unobtrusively as possible, but I have to say it came out pretty well. I haven't had time to do anything with the raw files, but I listen to them when I have a chance in the morning to lift my heart towards God first thing. It's been quite a blessing.

So for a little while now, I've been really bogged down by the lifestyle in these rotations in the hospital. For the most part, they've been a great experience and a much more fulfilling time working with patients than studying books, but my faith has been tested and there are times where I am faithful to see that God is faithful, but there are many times that I am not. Working in the hospital is hard. It involves 15 hour days, intimidation, insecurities, bullying, little sleep, no time to study, not much time to eat, but thankfully some learning and some patients who do get better. Especially now on Ob/Gyn, I get so frustrated and downcast with the lack of time to learn and the nature of the system at the moment. Every time I have a question, I ask and am pointed towards self-directed learning. I am not a self-directed learner, but that is the nature of the business I have entered. To top it off, I do not really enjoy surgical procedures especially when I am not let in on the action. There's a hierarchy. The attending is in on the case, with the 4th year or 3rd year resident assisting in the surgery. The 2nd year or intern is the one that gets the grunt work and the med student, well, we stand in the corner or get yelled at for showing initiative for scrubbing in and trying to get involved. The first day I came in, I was really excited since the attending let me scrub and help with the surgery. After that, I was relegated to the corner and utter boredom with an occasional PIMPing (put in my place) question that I would have to shrug and take a random guess at.

It's been a struggle with so little sleep and frustratingly little new applicable knowledge to stay positive. I've sinned repeatedly against my friends and those around me as I complain or am less than patient or loving. I confess my weakness. Tonight I start a week of night float (6pm-9am) shifts and I am dreading it. Flipping my schedule upside down and then not really studying in exchange for sleep during the day...ugh. Please pray for me. I need to remember God in all things and work for Him and His glory. I need to love and shine His light. I need to be excellent for Him in the opportunities He's provided me. And I need to trust Him.

Here's a recent song I wrote. I played it at the tail end of Dinner&Praise and it's been some of what I've been reflecting on in the struggling that I've been going through. When I get a chance, I'll record it. (btw, there may be a band in the making...stay tuned.)

CAPO 6

G/B              C2                  G
Tossing and turning, I’m unsure
My insides are struggling to breath
My breath I’ve been holding but I know
what my soul longs for is hope.

To me all that matters is what you want
Living my life for your truth
Confessing, it’s harder than I thought
Completely devoted to you

         D2/F#       G
Please find me now
           Em7
‘cause what I need
     Am7         F#        G
Is more than I can imagine
You give me life
Now make me breathe
      Am7       C2      D
And see your mercy fall/to see your glory come

D                              Am7
No matter what I’ve done
G                                    D
No matter where I’ve been
D                     Am7
When I look to you
G                       D
Your love has never changed.
Deep inside I know
Your answer is always the same
You beckon me come home
To live for your fame/name

food and thoughts

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 19:04:46 GMT

Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I can be a big baby and need some of that. I think one of the biggest ways God makes himself known to me is through circumstances. For instance, during my senior year of college, InterVarsity was having their annual Winter Conference and I thought for sure I would not be able to go. I had exams coming up. I had assignments and meetings. I also didn't have the money. It was a complete RED light on my going, but as God would have it, a few days before the deadline for registration, an exam was shifted, one assignment was completed, another cancelled, and meetings had to be rescheduled. To top it off, there were scholarships for the fees. It was all a part of God's plan for me to relinquish control. He would get me where he wanted me to be.

This is always true and I never learn my lesson. I always slip back into a world of anxiety and lack of faith in the one who would have his best for me. I've been struggling a lot with seeking after God purely and whole heartedly. So much distracts me in medschool and in life in general. I am so caught up in the busy-ness and stress, expectations, and criticism that I completely lose focus of who I am in Christ. I lose sight of my purpose in him and my calling to be his vessel for his glory not mine, nor my own agenda (if I even have one). I shouldn't be free-floating through life and I shouldn't be worried about every last detail, but rather, remember to my very core that God is in control and I should stop getting so worked up that all I can hear is my own heart pounding in my ears and the steam leaking through my ears of my trying to handle every little detail of my overloaded, overstressed, and overworked life. God is teaching me endurance and the FRUIT of the spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, faith, meekness and self-control. These are the tools with which I can do his work and by which I know I am growing in the one who loves me more than anyone else and would give himself completely for everywhere I come up short.

Recently, I've decided to study humility. I found this book that a friend lent me called Humility: True Greatness, by C.J. Mahaney. Then, as I was walking to church this morning and listening to my ipod, I went to my recently downloaded podcasts and as if God wasn't nudging me with a wink, the topic Chuck Swindoll was speaking on was HUMILITY. This is how God affirms my desires to find him. Maybe I'm weak and sometimes I think it's not tangible enough, but deep inside, I know God is answering me and speaking to me, telling me, he understands my efforts and he is willing to help me through.

Pictures...

tangy peach and chicken sausage salad

my take on singapore noodles

I also have pictures of syphilis that I recently saw in the outpatient clinic, but this is a family-friendly website and besides, I don't know the rules on posting it.

revitalizing

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 15:05:39 GMT

some overdue pictures of cooking and feasting will be coming soon. I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore though so not in a big hurry (wink wink).

gapbody

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:08:14 GMT